It occurs to me this is perhaps not live, because there seems to be refreshingly little nonsense between the entries. Hmm.
10:24 PM: I want to like France’s entry, because she’s a hairdresser from the provinces and is nice-looking in a healthy, moist-skinned, Dove-ad way. She’s even singing a ripely melodic song in French. Tragically, she about 20 eardrum-punishing Hz off the right tone.
10:27 PM: Croatia’s Severina, who was terribly shocked a few weeks ago when someone released her "private" porn video, is giving us a light, frothy, rhythmical folk-song adaptation, and has just ripped off half her dress. I’m impressed.
10:31 PM: Brian Kennedy from Ireland doesn’t sound Irish enough for me. His weepy little ballad is called "Every Song is a Cry for Love." Really? Even this one? Unforgivably bland and fully-clothed backup crew. This man shared a stage with Van Morrison?!
10:36 PM: Sweden is marrying straight-out-of-the-can techno to spine-cracking Bonnie-Tyler belting. The announcer called her "super-professional." Can I have Brian Kennedy back, please?