Pyrotechnical Products in Your Intimate Areas

In Dresden, the police have been forcing some soccer fans to strip completely naked (G) and let themselves be inspected before they enter the stadium. The innocent-looking ones, of course. Specifically "younger or older persons, especially females, who because of their external appearance would not ordinarily be judged to be potentially violent fans."

A 16-year old girl who was forced to strip has now sued before the local Administrative Court.
Not only was the process humiliating, the "paving stones were horribly cold in March." The police have explained themselves thus:

The police explained the action on the basis that such "unsuspicious-looking fans" had transported weapons, smoke powder, and flares — hidden in bras and panties — into the stadium. Further, they maintained, there was one case in which a female fan had smuggled pyrotechnical products into the stadium hidden in her intimite areas.

I hardly know where to begin here. First, I’d like to stress the importance of a convincing answer when the German police officer asks you whether or whether "your intimate areas have been under your control at all times since you came to the stadium." Then, let’s speculate about headlines: "Four Seriously Injured As Dresden Fireworks-Smuggler Passes Gas."

But that’s only the beginning. Help, commenters — GJ needs you now more than ever!

[Hat-tip to Thomas S.]

5 thoughts on “Pyrotechnical Products in Your Intimate Areas

  1. Actually, according to the article the strip searches occured in Saarbrücken, and they were targeting visiting fans from Dresden.

    This fact gives the story a new East-West perspective. Is the smuggling of fireworks in intimate areas an East German phenonemon? Or are West Germans simply suspicious (or jealous) of the liberal sexual mores in the East?

    Some US celebrity sites have been posting about firecrotch (in regards to Lindsay Lohan), but I don’t think this is quite what they had in mind.


  2. Oh that hurts to watch!

    Actually it’s just the kind of thing drunks of a certain age try out – once. The fellow is probably trying to achieve a blue blazer…..
    TITLE: Noch so ein Grund…
    BLOG NAME: Orkpiraten
    DATE: 06/07/2006 03:24:45 PM
    ..nicht zu einem Fußballspiel zu gehen. Die Netzeitung berichtet folgendes:Weibliche und männliche Fußballfans, die «unscheinbarund unverdächtig sind» dürfen ohne Angabe von Gründen vor demStadionbesuch von der Polizei nackt ausgezogen werden.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s