Germans have their boring old garden gnomes:
The Garden Gnome just sits there, smiling idiotically. He doesn’t even use any electricity. How pathetic.
Dynamic Americans, in line with their general tendency to kick ass (cf. moon landing, World War II, Cheez Whiz), have something much more, well, kick-ass.
World, brace yourselves for Jack, Elf of the Flickering Fairies:
Jack, the Elf of the Flickering Fairies, is a "typical elf": "rambunctious" and "mischievious." By day, he’s transparent. At night, when you plug him in, his rainbow light "will flicker for five seconds, and then will seem to disappear for six seconds. And just when you think he is gone, he lights up again."
Really, you ungrateful foreigners, how can you stay angry at a country that gave you — yes, I’m going to write the whole name again — Jack, Elf of the Flickering Fairies?
[Hat-tip: Ed Philp]