So on Tuesday I’m in French class, which is held in a building called, believe or not, Palais Wittgenstein. The teacher is the sylphlike, aloof Nicole (not not her real name), one of the most attractive 5*-somethings I’ve ever seen. We’re currently studying a unit on how elderly French people use the Internet. Even Nicole apologizes for how soul-pulverizingly boring it is. But it’s the next unit in the book we’re using.
During a radio feature about actual old French people, we hear them complain about all the "langage texto" they see on the Internet. I ask what "langage texto" is. Turns out it’s the French phrase for SMS-speak: C U l8r, C U 2morrow, etc. Yesterday, a friend told me that France has the most advanced langage texto in the world. Apparently, it’s a structural thing: lots of French letters sound like French syllables, lots of French numbers sound like French syllables or words, lots of French words sound like other, longer French words. Examples are K7 (for "cassette"), or "o" for "eau,"
Could this be the new Esperanto? Will there one day be a "Langage Texto Strasse", just as there is now an Esperantostrasse? [No, you dumbass, because it only makes sense in French. – ed.]