Criminal Justice: Eternally, Internationally Perfect

Death penalty supporter Antonin Scalia, United States, 2006:

One cannot have a system of criminal punishment without accepting the possibility that someone will be punished mistakenly. That is a truism, not a revelation. But with regard to the punishment of death in the current American system, that possibility has been reduced to an insignificant minimum.

[Source: Scalia’s opinion in the Supreme Court case Kansas v. Marsh]

Death penalty supporter Fritz Neumayer, Free Democrat Party, Germany 1950:

Against arguments concerning the possibility of judicial error and the irreparability of an improper execution, [Neumayer] pointed to the fact that the assistance provided by science and criminal statistics was so far advanced that the possibility of an wrongful conviction on the basis of circumstantial evidence could only be anticipated in extremely rare cases.

[Source: Paraphrase of Neumayer’s arguments during a parliamentary debate on the re-introduction of the death penalty in Germany]

Death penalty supporter Johann von Kloreiniger, Wiesensteig, Germany, 1563:

Verily I do say and atteste, that the Possibilitie that any Person has been put to Death for the horrid Crime of being a Witch, although they were not such, is now but a Trifle. The carefull and scientifick Manner in which we Compelle the Foul Beastes of the Devil to Confess their Hideous Crimes against Nature, using Thumbscrews, Half-Drowning, and Hot Pincers, combined with the Guidance of Divine Providence, permits us to exclude all Doubte Before Ordaining the Drawinge & Quarteringe of these Shamefull and Repulsive Whores of Satan.

[Source: The Astonishinge and Truthfulle Account of My Humble Years of Service as Chief Publick Prosecutor to my Most Noble and Righteous Lord the Margrave of Southeasterne Bavaria, as Invented and dutifullie Transcribed by Andrew von Hammell, Esq.]

2 thoughts on “Criminal Justice: Eternally, Internationally Perfect

  1. Once I read that as humor travels from East to West, its focus shifts from the anal to the genital; hence the alleged profusion of scatological jokes in Germany as opposed to coitus-related in the U.S.

    Kloreiniger? Gotcha, Hammel. Yet more proof that you’ve spent too much time in Germany and should turn in your U.S. passport.

    Just joshin’.


  2. That’s not really accurate, Paul. The German language is rather isolated with its anal fixation. At least in Romanic languages, expletives are principally genital.


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