At its General Assembly, held in Nashville, Tennessee, the World Corrosion Organization has just named Prof. Michael Schütze (G) its new President.
Schütze delivered his acceptance speech while wearing iridescent synthrene gloves and stroking a white Persian cat named Mephistopheles. He closed the four-hour address by loudly repeating "their puny weapons will crumble to useless dust in their very hands!!" to ecstatic applause.
Shortly afterward, the session was closed to reporters for discussion of "sensitive organizational matters."