The Man in the Street on Kidnapping Foreigners

The Onion interviews ordinary Americans about the desirability of kidnapping Brits:

Friday, December 7, 2007

Kidnapping British People Legal

A lawyer for the U.S. government told the Court of Appeal in London that the United States could legally kidnap citizens of other countries because it was sanctioned by the Supreme Court. What do you think?

Old Woman

Linda Sai,
Systems Analyst
"People abroad must learn that America lives in our hearts, and that gives us the right to do whatever we want, wherever we want."

Old Man

Mark Solomon,
Video Editor
"I vote to kidnap those posh birds from Nuts Magazine. They’ve got a right set of baps on them."

Black Man

Ken Ralston,
Gas Station Attendant
"Look on the bright side. They’ll get a fantastic exchange rate on legal fees."

6 thoughts on “The Man in the Street on Kidnapping Foreigners

  1. As someone else has pointed out in the other thread, if one government goes into another country and abducts their people, it’s called “war”. It’s happened since the stone age. Next in the Onion and on this blog: Ordinary Americans interviewed on the invention of the wheel.

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  2. They are all completel;y wrong. I wouldn’t kidnap a Brit if my life depended upon it! They are always correct and completely self-righteous – the nagging would just kill me.

    Germans? Perhaps. But no – Deutschers are even more self-righteous and serrially correct than the Brits are. Uglier too.

    No, what we need is someone less loquacious and prettier (or at least with less English – I don’t mind being cussed out in French as much). French or Italians – good-looking birds with nice ‘baps’ by preference. Clean out the fashion shows in Paris and Milan – that’s more like it! 😉

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  3. On second thought the models won’t quite do – baps are lacking. Legs are all very well but sometinmmes a chappie needs to get to grips.

    Kidnap the models AND clean out the mistress section of the audience; that wiull serve!

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