Protecting the Flower of German Womanhood

The Bild-Zeitung, to paraphrase the Firesign Theatre, has something awesome to reveal to us: Germans — yes, chaste, demure Germans — are hooking up (g).  It’s so unprecedented, so shockingly new, that German doesn’t even have a word for it (my translation):

It’s something in-between, that we German’s don’t have a word for.  The British call it "Casual Sex" [in English in original].  A purpose-driven temporary relationship which satisfies everything except the heart. 

Since the TV series "Sex and the City" women, at least, know of this way of dealing with lust, without having a consistent partner.  Carrie and her girlfriends meet up for no-commitment love games, and then simply send the men home, till the next time.

One thing I’ve never understood about Germans.  On the one hand, as they never cease to remind us, they’re so much more relaxed and ‘adult’ about their bodies — you know, FKK (nudist) clubs (g), legal prostitution, getting kicked off American beaches for going topless, sex education for all, the whole gamut.  Yet, at the same time, their Bambi-eyed wholesomeness and solid values are under constant assault from sinister Anglo-Saxon forms of sexual license, such as pornography and ‘casual sex’.  Perhaps this firm has the answer for this peculiarly German dilemma…

10 thoughts on “Protecting the Flower of German Womanhood

  1. In Facebook one of the levels of relationship is “hooked up with”. Facebook has just recently released German localization, and some German users have been shocked to learn what they had really said when they said they had “hooked up with” other users. 🙂

  2. Sex-Beziehung or offene Beziehung are two german phrases for but the one I like most as it most times has a sarcastic or humorous background is “Freunde mit besonderen Rechten” (amazingly almost unknown on the web…). And of course there’s “Sex mit dem/der Ex”

  3. Im not realy sure, but i think i read something about “casual sex” in the “Briefe an die Leser” of the Titanic-Magazine. There were mocking some writer, who wrote (i think) the same nonsense, as the Bild writes now. Now i have to search trough all my old Titanics, elsewise i won´t be able to sleep tonight.

  4. I got it.

    Oktober 2007:

    “Julia Schaaf!

    Wie »das neue Spiel mit der Inti­mität« in Zeiten von Internetz-Liber­tinage so geht, ließen Sie uns via FAS wissen: »Es ist mehr als ein One-Night-Stand und weniger als ­eine Affäre, wobei es vor allem anders ist. ›Casual Sex‹ nennen es die Briten und sind zu beneiden, weil ihre Sprache so schillert und sich, wenn nötig, der Eindeutigkeit entzieht. Gelegenheitssex. Irgendwie ungezwungen. Beiläufig. Lässig. Und dabei so unendlich viel geschmeidiger, spielerischer, sympathischer und moderner als das Vokabular, daß einem hierzulande begegnet: Seitensprung. Erotisches Abenteuer. Fickbeziehung« – schade nur, daß Sie sich bei Ihren uneindeutig-spielerischen Ausführungen nicht auf einen Quickie beschränkt und Ihre kulturjournalistischen Hardcore-Informationen über den jüngsten halluzinierten Sexual­trend lang und breit ausgewalzt haben; so daß wir bereits vor dem ­Höhepunkt eingeschlafen sind.

    Irgendwie beiläufig: Titanic”

    So, we have casual sex, but we just dont have the right name for it.

  5. Yet, at the same time, their Bambi-eyed wholesomeness and solid values are under constant assault from sinister Anglo-Saxon forms of sexual license, such as pornography and ‘casual sex’.

    Really? You seem to live in a different Germany than I.
    As Frederik pointed out, we don’t seem to have a good word for it anymore since the nice “Affäre” died out. Where I come from it’s mostly called “Bettbeziehung” nowadays.

  6. Hmm, well Mr. Hammel, when your favorite magazine Titanic reports about it you choose to ignore the Fickbeziehung but when Bild brings something about it you do a real Medienkritik the style “One thing I’ve never understood about Germans”. Looks as if you have come to prefer Bild to Titanic. On could have guessed that …

  7. @Andrew: Where did you get the impression that Germans have a problem with pornography? I find that German mainstream-press is quite ‘pornografied’, the Bild-zeitung being the prime example. I haven’t read this article, but as far as i I know the Bild zeitung, they are all too happy to report on “libertine girls dying to have sex with no strings attached” or something like that. The paper basically consits of pedantic conservative editorials decorated with pornography.

    This to say that this aspect of German press disgusts me. Of course I don’t know how it compares to, say, british tabloids. Maybe, a UK citizen would find the Bild ‘cute’ 🙂 . Do such magazines exist in the US? And are they equally popular?

  8. @Scott
    We don’t need “Facebook” for hooking up, we already have “Fickeria.net” (fomerly FickenVZ.net) for the heterosexuals and Gayromeo for the homosexuals 😉

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