So I’m waiting in the doctors’ office yesterday, having forgotten to bring something interesting to read (g). I begin shuffling through the magazines lying around in the waiting room. They all have the uniform blue outside cover of the Lesekreis (g) magazine-wholesale firm. This means you can’t see the cover of the magazine from the outside, only its title. As I’m shuffling through the stack, I notice one called Praline. ‘Mmmm,’ I think to myself, ‘delicious pralines. What could be more soothing than reading about candy?’ So I pick up Praline, earning censorious looks from the old ladies in the waiting room. Turns out Praline (g, nsfw), isn’t about candy at all, or at least not in the literal sense. Oh no. It’s got pictures of nekkid girls in it, although the really naughty bits are censored.
But what really got me was the reader advice columns. In the Anglo-Saxon world, "advice" columns in glossy soft-core porn magazines are generally filled with reviews of autos you’ll never be able to afford or Italian hand-painted silk ties that you’ll never need to wear to your soul-killing job at the post office. But Praline has no illusions about the kind of guy who reads Praline. One unemployed reader wrote in saying he’d finally gotten a job offer, but it required relocating to Passau, Germany. Neither his savings nor his mother’s "widow’s pension" would be enough to finance the move. Could he ask for a special government benefit to cover moving expenses? The answer, from Praline‘s columnist, was "almost certainly yes!"
Next to the column was a clipart picture of some guy waving a fistful of Euros, flashing a gleaming, pearly-white smile, as if to say "ZOMG! I hit the government’s wikkid-cool relocation-expenses jackpot!" Kind of touching, really.