German Word of the Week: Touristenblutwurst

Touristenblutwurst

Loyal reader E. Philp was in Schleiz recently and noted this butcher shop sign for Touristenblutwurst, or "Tourists' blood sausage." This foodstuff, if we may call it that, is apparently an East German specialty, and its literally blood-curdling name routinely mystifies even other Germans (g). It belongs, with Presssack, to the family of German meat products composed of large chunks of cow or pig whose original biological functions are unsettlingly recognizable.

The general consensus seems to be that tourists' blood sausage is not actually made from the blood of tourists (although if it were, I'd prefer Brazilians, for obvious reasons). Yet, the butcher's behavior was anything but reassuring. Philp reports: "We entered the store to verify that yes, Touristenblutwurst was on sale. Ten minutes after we photographed this, the
sign was taken down – the butcher closed at 11 am on a Saturday!"

And really, how would you tell if it were tourist blood? Take it from me, there's no better way to ruin a romantic picnic in Schleiz than by spitting out moist chunks of congealed tourist blood onto your significant other's flimsy burnoose and proclaiming: "Good God, I recognize the all-too-familiar taste of boiled human blood. It's made of people. Touristenblutwurst…is…people!"

13 thoughts on “German Word of the Week: Touristenblutwurst

  1. Not only in east-germany, but also here in Austria Blutwurst is regarded as a delicacy. Although people in my surroundings are divided on that matter.

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  2. There aren’t enough Soylent Green references around these days. Bravo, sir!

    Though I have to say: even for a carnivore like me, ‘Hackepeter‘ (or even ‘Preßsack‘–probably ‘Presssack‘ under the new spelling rules….) sounds about as disturbing as ‘Touristenblutwurst‘.

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  3. at least we are honest…no need for cowardly euphemisms – rocky mountain oysters anyone?
    by the way, wtf is head cheese? Is it something like the equally appaling sounding Leberkäse?

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  4. > the family of German meat products composed of large
    > chunks of cow or pig whose original biological functions
    > are unsettlingly recognizable

    Do we want them to be large enough so we can tell the difference? “Dear, this piece of colon is yummie. How’s your udder?” Not everyone is a Frogland perv, so there.

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  5. Indeed, wie don’t hide enjoying to eat “Innereien”. Why should we?

    Have you ever tastet “Nierchen” (kidney) or “Nierchengulasch” (kidney goulash)? Or “gebratene Leber” (roasted liver)? Delicious!

    Or how about eating your ham and eggs just raw anduncooked?
    What about “Hackepeterbrötchen” and “Zuckerei”?

    We work hard to maintain our barbarian image. 😉

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  6. Dang, brain malfunction, please ignore last comment (heed all to come though, buster, particularly the rants). Note to self: don’t skim blogs while messing with döner, slurping beer, and being drowsy already. GWW: Künstlerpech (artist malfunction?)

    btw: did you know where döners comes from?

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  7. >There aren’t enough Soylent Green references >around these days. Bravo, sir!

    Why thanks. But that’s not the only half-hidden reference to majestic 1970s cultural creations in the post…

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  8. Presssack = Head cheese
    Blutwurst = Black pudding rsp Blood pudding

    Waitor, bring me a huge portion of Head Cheese, and then Black Pudding. On second thought make that a Blood Pudding. I don’t want no girlish chocolate pudding.

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