Who Doesn’t Love Grand Theft Auto?

I have it on good authority that Grand Theft Auto is extremely popular among senior European Commission officials.

Because it's magical! Why just yesterday I was ordered to pick up a hoodlum near a park and drive him to meet other hoodlums. To pick up a pedestrian, you have to honk, otherwise they don't respond. After blazing through several red lights and vehicularly murdering a few pedestrians, I finally arrived at the park, jumped up onto the sidewalk, and accidentally struck the guy I was supposed to give a ride to, dragging him under my car for a dozen meters or so. He yelled at me: 'Hey, watch where you're going, [expletive deleted]'. Despite leaving a long blood trail on the sidewalk, he got up after a few seconds and stood up, patiently waiting for the honk. Just for fun I backed up, accelerated, and smashed directly into the wall behind him, pinning him between my car and the wall crushing his spine and pureeing his internal organs. He groaned in agony and collapsed to the ground.

Then I finally honked, whereupon he stood up, brushed some dust (and presumably spine fragments) from his jacket, climbed into the passenger seat, and said: 'Hey friend, thanks for the ride!'  

One thought on “Who Doesn’t Love Grand Theft Auto?

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