Germans, Put Too Many Commas, In Their English

More Denglish overcommazation, this time courtesy of the Munich police:

 

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Not that I want to pick on them, the've had a rough night. This post is merely illustrative in nature!

11 thoughts on “Germans, Put Too Many Commas, In Their English

  1. Someone recently said that it is very hard to learn a foreign language, like, you know, really hard. So optimism that foreigners learn your native language is, well, optimistic.
    And now ze german satire:

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  2. Not that important, but this needs to be said…the German police should get (or have gotten) the Nobel prize for Freedom last year. These men and women had to protect and direct a horde of illiterate, non-German speaking, barely controllable illegal migrants to points in Germany. And they did that despite being ignored, spat at (muslim men don’t take orders from female police), and abused in a torrent of languages. That not one of these men and women–despite being given the impossible task of keeping order when their own government was too craven or cowardly to close its borders–committed acts of violence against ANY migrant is almost unbelievable. Surely, they were pushed to the limit–listening to the constant lies, responding to muslim threats of violence, having to tolerate extremes of disorder and ignorance. What a performance.

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  3. back home those refuggers are being denied their right to self-expression–we’re there to help, don’t you see? only spoilsports would crimp their style and hurt their sensibilities. and the benster’s, too! just bc they shred their hearts to pieces, explosive-knapsack-aided, doesn’t mean they’re heartless bastards. in heaven everything gets stitched back together,* and they get attention and hartz4 to their mended pumps’ content. benny, trusted status strumpet, shed me a tear, first and most beauteous second!

    * snark off: questions to experts–is this comma legit? as a stylistic device, pretty please? speaking that sentence i’d make a pause for effect (not a must but an option), how to convey that in writing? i could use an em dash but i already spent my allotment of one per paragraph,** so what to do? and what about starting sentences with and? if you really want to? and feel brave? can you do that? would it pass in a*** high-school essay?

    ** mm’s law

    *** not “an”, or so i hope

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  4. just to be clear, that fbooker’s commas stink, while i tend to overdo it. and often mine stink, too. and prolly not only the commas. i’d like to see me as a glue-sniffing joseph conrad abusing the anglophone blogosphere.* who’s being beastly to well-meaning bloggers of the belligerently optimistic persuasion. who know to tell vested interests from belligerent bungling. but say so only in sly asides but not in all their blogging grandeur.** they’re people, too–how dare i?

    speaking of substance abuse, andrew, should we be on speaking terms again in the next world, or the one after that, you must tell me where you get those happy pillz of ours, surely potent stuff. maybe after the common sense revolution in schlandland, imminent in fall or next year at the latest!

    * vying for that position (sans the sniffing) with the other contestants around here. stakhy, cliff, solvent et al, here’s looking at you

    ** bc… err, uhm, dunno. bc that’s, err sobering? boring and obvious? bc it can be dealt with only opinionatedly and with guns, mortars, and axes? finest, well-, nay, best-worded and refreshingly clear-headed granularity not being all that helpful, thus poor ol’ hammer getting none of those nails? bc caring for motives is like sniffing other folks’ asses and dogs aren’t allowed on these premises? bc we’re cat lovers and cats just sniff their own? so we do that, too?*** while we’re not sniffing for motives belligerently, did caldwell’s book arrive yet?

    *** i retract this sentence. way over the top. and silly. but appealing imagery also, disturbing imagery

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