Behold! I Shall Fish the Bottles Out of the Düssel

Take a look at this:


This is the Düssel river, the local Rhein tributary that gives Düsseldorf its name. Some rivers are so big, cities are built around them, not over them. The Düssel isn't that big. The city fathers of Düsseldorf did actually keep the river, mind you. However, it flows underground most of the way through the city, only popping into view occasionally. But when it does come into view, it's a refreshing change. And as here, near the Karolingerstraße, a bit of riverbank has been preserved, creating a nice park-like atmosphere.

Granted, it's only a little brook, and the riverbank is only about 5 meters on either side before the streets and buildings begin. But even a small bit of nature and green in the city does a surprising amount to make a place more livable. Trust me, I've lived in cities which don't know how to do this.

But here's the thing: you see those shapes in the water? No, they're not fish. There are fish in the Düssel, but they're much smaller. Those things are bottles. 

Fucking bottles.

Over the years, subhuman fucksticks have finished their bottles of cheap beer and casually tossed them into the river. Even though there's a bottle deposit in Germany, which poor people rely on, scouring the city for deposits. You could simply put the bottle on the bridge over the river, and it would be gone in literally 5 minutes, collected by some retiree living on a miserly pension. Also, no more than 2 meters from where I shot this photo, there are not only trash bins but a fucking glass recycling box.

But did Jackass McShitforbrains (or perhaps Güldüz Al-Antisocial) use any of these opportunities? No. He just threw the fucking bottle into the cool, clear, pristine water of the river. So every single time a human crosses this bridge and pauses to enjoy a nice view, he's reminded of the fact that certain humanoid entities exist who would fuck up a nice little view out of sheer laziness or spite.

I have never actually seen anyone throw a bottle in the Düssel. Actually, that's pretty fortunate, because if I did, I would probably fly into a rage and try to beat them to death. I'm not joking. One of the reasons Northwestern Europe is such a nice place to live is that people take care of public spaces. One of the many curses of the developing world is that people in those countries have no understanding of why it's important to keep public spaces clean. They are often scrupulously neat in their private homes, but think nothing of throwing garbage anywhere in the open. This is one of the key conflicts that arise when immigrants from the Third World arrive in Germany: they go picknicking in the park and leave a mound of dirty diapers, trash, bottles, plastic bags, disposable barbecues, and food remains just sitting in a pile in the middle of a pristine meadow of luscious green grass. 

Now, part of this is because the countries they come from don't have functioning garbage-disposal infrastructures, etc. But there's also a cultural component, as anybody who's ever lived in a country like India can tell you. Even in middle-class families, there's a sense that the interior of the home is a focus of pride and should be kept spotless, but if you don't own the land — especially if nobody owns the land — then it's fair game to just throw anything away there. As a 2013 book call The Concept of the Public Realm puts it:

Take something as simple as streets and public parks. Since they lie outside the family home, they are seen as a no-man's land, an empty space, almost a wilderness. While the Indian home is clean and tidy, streets and even parks are unacceptably dirty. Streets are used as garbage heaps, and rubbish and leftover food is thrown around in parks. Even the front of the house is sometimes turned into as a garbage heap. Since public spaces are not seen as theirs, Indians generally take no care of them and expect the civic authority to do so. And if it does not, as is generally the case, things are left as they are. It is striking that few Indians protest against dirty streets and lack of pavements and zebra crossings, almost as if they cannot see how things can be otherwise (Kakar and Kakar 2007, p. 21).

Not that India deserves to be singled out. The problem also exists all over the Arab world and even in Italy, although it's much less serious there.

In any case, I've had enough. I already have a really long pole which I use for certain camera shots. I just ordered a pool net strainer. When the weather cools down, I am going to go out there and clean out those bottles. You'd think some German would have done this already, but there's an old German proverb — as accurate now as it ever was — which goes: "A German is someone who, when he sees a mess, sneers in disapproval (die Nase rümpfen) instead of cleaning it up." 

Well, fuck that shit. Just as Tyrell Corporation's motto is "more human than human", mine is "more German than German". I am going to clean out those goddamn bottles, and post before-and-after pics to prove it. If that doesn't earn be the German Service Cross, I don't know what will.

13 thoughts on “Behold! I Shall Fish the Bottles Out of the Düssel

  1. They’ll probably arrest you for cleaning without city approval. You should fill out a bunch of forms to request that a city worker look into the matter (which are hten promptly forgotten).


  2. Or Stuttgart’s Swabian version, aptly named “Let’s Putz”…in true denglisch style;)
    Man, those people know how to give their neighbours a bad conscience….


  3. We all pay lip service to democracy, freedom of speech, contested elections, protection of dissenters, abolition of corporal punishments. But if offered a chance to live in a one-party-rule state, with hereditary leadership, suppression of the opposition, rationally engineered demographics, and LITTERERS ARE CANED, how many of us would NOT move to Singapore?


  4. If these are beer, wine and schnaps bottles, you shouldn’t blame muslims in the first place.

    Regarding picknicks in public places, there are Turkish- or Arab-looking families who leave their litter behind, but other families leave the places clean.


  5. Maybe some of that ridiculous tax surplus could be used for improving public spaces like litter collection, gardening and re-opening railway station facilities.

    Completely unrelated comment:

    We went to the local freibad and sauna yesterday afternoon and now I need some Hammel blog group therapy.

    I am watching this Corsican bloke, Arnaud Seassari, to cheer myself up: .

    We were at the pool for an hour before the level of stress inclined our departure. We saw one German teenage girl being forced to the bottom of the pool, her long hair being held like a rope in what seemed to be rough play with asylum seeker young men. They were all laughing as she came to the surface gasping, she started crying and then got out of the pool to jeers of amusement. Another teenage girl we saw crying for over an hour on and off in an intense embrace/headlock with a young MENA man and surrounded by his friends – this was creepy in a different way. At first we thought it was just passionate teenagers enjoying the freedom of the pool in neck high water, but then it became obvious it was more like domestic violence. He kept her mouth shut with his hand on and off, physically stopped her from getting to the ladder at the side a few times, did not stop holding her from behind, kept one of his hands in her bikini bottoms most of the time, he allowed his friend to touch her from the front after which she was crying. There were times she was clearly arguing with him and refusing and at other times looking ok and smiling a bit. Adults, including a minority of Germans, were observing this young man’s behaviour and no-one intervened or corrected him. There were no staff to be seen although the pool did look like it was at maximum capacity. My heart was racing it was so worrying to watch and wonder if she needed assistance. Eventually I went over to ask her if she wanted to get out of the pool after she had just tried to leave herself, I put it to her twice, the man kept holding on to her and she said, “I’m ok”. She was blonde and had a Polish accent. My teenage daughters said to me later that we should have called the police. It distressed them to hear about it because of their own bad experiences in the last year, especially NYE.

    The same pool this time last year was full of German families and teenagers. This year there were a few veiled women in the water, fully clothed, a few girls and women swimming in black gym gear and a few in purpose built burkinis. It was 4:1 male to female based on my rough count. Most of those men had waxed underarms which indicates they are observant Muslims. A dramatic change in one year.

    My other stories from this last week are a conversation with an Egyptian 18 year old from my children’s new high school. He flew in on a tourist visa, enrolled in a public high school with the expectation of it being free and leading to free university, and he has no money to support himself. My kids have been giving him lunch. He said all Arab families have a duty to send one son. He joked that his parents had gotten rid of his things and he’s lost his bedroom. He spoke fluent English and German and is using a German first name instead of his own. I asked him about how he felt about coming from such an amazing place and being to connected to the most extraordinary world history (ancient Egypt) to which he responded that it was just a failing tourist attraction and that Egypt’s religious history was more important and that’s what children are taught. He said Egypt was Christian once like Europe. He assumes there are almost no Christians left here. After a few minutes of chat the school history essay on fascism came up and he descended into Muslim apologetics and justified Saudi Arabia and the Arabian Peninsula needing to be exclusively Islamic in the same way as Vatican City is exclusive (!). He spoke about Saudi Arabia (he’s been there many times) and other Islamic countries being free because the people wanted Islamic freedom, so he will write about North Korea.

    Another young man from this year’s class is an Algerian who cannot read or write in his own language. The Egyptian student has personally committed to teaching him how to read and write in Arabic.

    There is a young woman from Syria. She was followed to Germany by her parents although she is choosing to live with German guardians/foster parents and her family lives elsewhere in Germany. She has short hair and smokes.

    We decided to move away from NRW because it is such a mess in terms of the education system and the physical safety of our daughters. So, we’ve been busy house hunting over the month in the central and eastern states. In one of those towns I sat down with my preschooler on a bench for afternoon tea and got chatting to another mum with a preschooler. She wore a headscarf, was 19 years of age, had been in this small German spa town for 10 months where she had learned basic German over five months and had local Germans mentoring her. Her mother, back home in Afghanistan, was my age, she also has a father, four brothers and four sisters waiting to come to Germany. Her husband is older, maybe 15 years. Her aunty migrated to Australia as a refugee years earlier, but they could not get there. She said they will not return to Afghanistan as Germany has given them a big flat, it has better shops and houses and roads and nice people and her family can live here instead. I asked if her family was safe and if was she worried about them and she said “no, everything’s ok there, there’s no fighting” and she talks to them all the time. She finished her education at the primary school level. I asked her about the future and she said she wanted to have many children and was pregnant again.

    In another town the same experience was repeated but this time the mum was older and had a chatty bilingual son of five or six years of age, who was attracted to us because we had lollies and he could mot stay away. She was pregnant with a girl, and they came from Kazakstan and speak Russian and German. Her husband has a job already.

    It is mind blowing what Merkel has done to Germany. I don’t think it will be possible to stop the chain migration, the force of political will that would be required doesn’t exist.


  6. Sorry that I don’t have much to offer in the way of cheering up, at least not for the big picture at this time. Politicians, media, interest groups: they are “all in” for mass Muslim immigration. If anything, they are pressing the pedal to the metal even harder.

    This morning in Germany’s Deutschlandfunk radio (similar to the UK’s BBC or NPR in the U.S.), the newsreader spent ten seconds reporting on what economist Clemens Fuest, successor to Hans-Werner Sinn as head of the Ifo Institute, said about economic benefits of recent immigration: there are none. Years from today, even after they have learned German and found some type of employment, they will still be a net burden on the public purse.

    Ten seconds.

    Then, back to regular programming. Most of an hour was given over to the insane ravings of two “intellectuals”, presented as rational, humane, and wise.

    First, journalist Marc Engelhardt. He explained that we are not in a “refugee crisis” but a “refugee revolution”. You see, “refugees” cannot be stopped from migrating here. (Apparently they are possessors of superpowers that make them unstoppable by coast guard cutters, chain-link fencing, and barbed wire.) Why do they come? JUSTICE — and who can be anti-justice? You see, some higher power has showered Earth with golden coins but unaccountably distributed this largess inequitably — less in Somalia, more in Bavaria. Of course, the less fortunate humans are on their way to collect their fair share.

    True, a very few politicians (like Bavaria’s finance minister Markus Söder) are still resisting: cynical demagogues exploiting “fears” in the populace. But don’t be fooled, says Mr. Engelhardt: the “overwhelming majority” of Germans do not share these “fears”, which in any case are being given too much attention by “the media”!

    After Mr. Engelhardt it was the turn of Gesine Schwan, a politician from the Social Democrat Party. The clueless idiot reeled off her usual spiel of we need more European integration not less, more transfers from Germany to Greece not less, more power to Brussels and less for nation-states.

    Many listeners, it is true, understand they are being brainwashed and lied to and have developed immunity. Unfortunately, the constant barrage of “We can do it!” propaganda is still effective on large numbers of people, who hesitate to vote for the only immivasion-critical party because they have been browbeaten into believing that it means voting for the Nazis. Hence the Uniparty of CDU SPD Greens LEFT and FDP continues to win at the polls.

    I don’t want to end on a depressing note, so consider that this cloud may have a silver lining 😉

    In times of trouble, you learn who among your neighbors you can count on.

    Who will join you in organizing a neighborhood watch? Who will stand up at townhall meeting and second your rejection of mandatory Arabic language lessons for schoolkids? Who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you at a protest against making halal-only food mandatory in kindergartens? Some of these fine people will themselves be migrants: ethnic Germans from Russia, Poles from Wroclaw, atheist Iranians, secular Turks, Christians from Nigeria.

    Nothing builds cohesion, trust and camaraderie better than sharing a trench or a foxhole. Here lies the germ of a beautiful friendship.


  7. “more transfers from Germany to Greece not less”

    Well the problem with the Euro (one of them) is that it’s not a real currency union because there are no transfers, only loans. This means that southern european countries would have to become more productive than Northern ones to keep from falling into crippling debt…. which is just what’s happened.

    If you want a single currency then you’re going to have transfers from Germany to Greece one way or other.

    “the newsreader spent ten seconds reporting on what economist Clemens Fuest, successor to Hans-Werner Sinn as head of the Ifo Institute, said about economic benefits of recent immigration: there are none.”

    but think about all the moral preening those holding “refugees welcome” signs can indulge in. Isn’t that a benefit?


  8. Aren’t you Australian? I’d go back even if it’d be a hardship for the family. Else, what about Western Poland or the Czech Republic? There are some nice binational border towns. I understand over there they still teach math at schools, y’know, with numbers and stuff. Learning the language would be a drag but I’m increasingly weary of my spineless biodeutsche compatriots, guess I’d rather live with folks that value their freedom even if they have too many consonants around.


  9. Muslims in Germany don’t drink beer and schnapps? Oh man, that’s a rich one. (Wiping tears from eyes). Next thing you’ll be telling me all priests are celibate!


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