Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, Part XXVI: Scorched Earth and Car Batteries in Your Local Park

nice things

On May 7, a bunch of cars pulled up to the Volkspark Freidrichshain in Berlin. Men dragged 12 whole, skinned sheep carcasses out of the autos. Then they dumped a bunch of charcoal briquets directly on the grass and set them on fire. Then they set up impromptu rotisseries driven by car batteries.

Car batteries. Right next to open flame.

The police tweet naturally didn’t identify the ethnicity of the offenders, but people have noted that May 6 is an important day in some Orthodox (hint hint) calendars.

To repeat the tiresome but necessary disclaimer: Does this mean that all Slavs are hillbillies who think nothing of destroying public property? Of course not; I know plenty of immigrants from Slavic countries who love Germany’s wonderful parks, and would no more think of littering in them than they would of congratulating America for winning World War II.

That is because they are educated, civilized, responsible people. The sort of immigrants which create a positive win-win effect anywhere.

Yet for every conscientious, employable immigrant (who can come from any country in the world) whom Germany welcomes, it seems to welcome at least one, how shall I put this, dumb hillbilly (who also exist in every country in the world). And when you get a critical mass of dumb hillbillies, they start doing the kinds of things in Germany that they do at home. Including incinerating large patches of grass on public property. Because, of course, dumb hillbillies are too poor to afford to buy their own private property, on which they can do what they please.

This is why it’s important to make sure there is a widespread, unspoken social consensus on what you can and can’t do in parks. Parks are free and open to the public. Anyone can use them. Which also means anyone can trash them. Dumb hillbillies trash parks the world over, because they are too dumb, selfish, and short-sighted to understand the long-term, collective benefit of keeping public spaces green and clean.

These statements are self-evident truths understood by all reasonably intelligent and worldly people. Germany’s ruling elites have, for some reason (probably having to do with “our dark history”), persuaded themselves to pretend these self-evident truths no longer apply.

And people who just want to enjoy a nice walk in the park pay the price.

Drip, drip, drip…

7 thoughts on “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, Part XXVI: Scorched Earth and Car Batteries in Your Local Park

  1. After the first paragraph I thought to myself “Wow, Andrew is finally writing something again that has NOT to do with immigrants”. Unfortunately, no such luck. I’m afraid you still seem to be a bit obsessed by that topic. Don’t think you think that this means that it’s about time for you to relaunch your immigration blog? I know people who’ve stopped reading your blog after you moved more and more into a libertarian right-wing position over the past three years.

    As for the actual topic, I’m such interested in one thing. Were you also concerned about post-barbeque litter and general dirtiness in German public parks before 2015? I’m only asking because I’ve witnessed that phenomenon very well over the years, and, speaking as someone from a German state that has one of the lowest numbers of refugees within the whole country, it’s something I also come across in my city and it’s getting on me nerves as well. However, that doesn’t mean one should turn every available issue into a debate about the evils of immigration, right?


    1. You’re saying that Germans do primitive crap like roasting sheep connected to car batteries in public parks? What the hell is wrong with Germans? That’s dangerous!

      I’ve never seen people engage in that kind of behavior in Polish parks, maybe we should keep Germans out of our nice green spaces?


      1. A column basically represents the opinion of the writer, in that case Mr. Rachman. However, that doesn’t mean that this thesis translates into reality. Economics is still the main driving issue, even in wealthy countries like Germany and the USA. When I talk to people, the issues they care about most are not immigration, but their salaries, rising wages in all major German cities (and the gentrification processes that go along with that) and the possible end of social security when they’ll become pensioners. That goes especially for the “little people”. All that talk about identity and cultural issues is mostly an issue for ageing journalists and professional ideologues. There are many people out there who don’t even have contact to immigrants. However, they all have to pay their rent. Those are the real basic issues.


      2. Errr, that should read “rising housing rents, but no rising wages”, in case you were wondering.


    2. Critiquing Germany’s immigration policy makes me neither right-wing nor libertarian. I am neither of those things, and that accusation is so 2015. When even the Left Party is vigorously debating German immigration policy, you know this is an issue of general concern, not just a hobby-horse of right-wingers.

      I have always preferred German parks to be clean, so I’ve always deplored littering in them. And I’ve also noticed, as have all other adult Germans who bother to notice, *who does* most of the littering. Many cultures have a lackluster attitude toward keeping public spaces clean, while they keep their own private homes spotless. This has been the subject of literally thousands of articles, studies, and anthropological and sociological analyses. Since this attitude is extremely important from a public-health perspective (i.e. piles of rotting litter attract rats and spread disease), UN agencies and development groups have studied them extensively. Only well-meaning liberal Germans still refuse to acknowledge these obvious facts.

      Here’s just one example, from an expat who spent 7 years in Kuwait: “In Kuwait, beauty usually is reserved for the private space. What should have been a gorgeous shoreline was littered with junk—including chicken bones from past beach barbecues and lots of diapers. (No one cleaned the beach because locals didn’t use it — since that would involve displays of flesh.) In my apartment building, it was seen as an acceptable practice to simply chuck garbage bags out the window. A full mattress once sailed past my view.” (http://quillette.com/2018/05/07/life-kuffar-seven-lost-years-kuwait/)

      When people relocate to Germany, they do not immediately cast off the habits of home. That you still find so many Germans who actually believe they do is astounding to foreigners.


  2. You must have a very limited circle of friends. Why was “taking back control of our borders” such a successful idea for the “leave” campaign the in the UK’s 2016 EU referendum? Why did Trump emphasise wanting to build a “big beautiful wall”? Why did Orban just win an election by telling the voters he wants to preserve Hungary’s Christian heritage”? Here in the UK the voters are seeing their wages being reduced through competition from cheap labour from abroad. While the schools and NHS are stretched to the limit by a regular net annual immigration to the UK of around 300k p.a.


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